For the shortest month in the calendar February certainly seems to be dragging it’s heels this year. Does the one extra day really make that much of a difference? I’ve been entering lots of writing competitions this month and, as I’ve mentioned in previous blog posts, the deadlines are very useful but it is easy to get too caught up by them and not have time for other writing endeavours. If I’m honest, I’ve found this month to be a bit difficult, and I’m struggling to shake the feeling of inadequacy. Numerous issues had me feeling a bit meh and then I did that lethal thing of comparing myself to others, which I usually try to avoid as it never ends well. While I love reading and I’m always going to some show or another (positive things) they often expose me to very talented individuals to whom I then compare myself (a negative thing). This results in self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness, which can be hard to shake off.
Redrafting Bitten By A Dog On Tuesday is progressing, but very slowly at the moment, primarily as I’m trying to meet upcoming deadlines. Scriptwriting has taken a back seat since Christmas to be honest, and even though I’ve countless ideas I want to work on there isn’t enough time in the day (especially with a fulltime job). My goal for March will be to refocus on scripts though, while continuing to enter some poetry and short story competitions, and keep redrafting BBADOT. A script that I thought I’d be working on (Two Views, A Mirror) fell at the last hurdle, when the commission went to another writer, however I’ve made some very useful connections in the process. All is fair in love and arts, as they should have said. Overall I still feel like I’m treading water and just keeping the momentum going but without really progressing or making much headway. Or at least I felt like that. I’m trying to stand back and gain some perspective. I am writing lots, so that’s good. Yes, it’s across various forms, but there’s nothing wrong with that either. I’ve another 10 months of 2016 to reach some goals, and other short term goals I’ll meet in the process.
I did get away for a few days of rest and inspiration, taking refuge on the south east Copper Coast, namely in Dunmore East. That was nice and it gave me some much needed breathing space, as well as being quite inspirational. How could you not be inspired with views like those in my photographs? A change of scenery in life, just like onstage or in a novel, can make a world of difference and Dunmore allowed my mind to settle and to see things afresh.
As this month draws to a close I certainly feel like some of the weight has lifted from me and I’m trying my best to remain positive about my writing goals and aspirations. Over the next few weeks I’ll keep an eye on the deadlines but I’m going to limit myself to certain things, as I really want to pick up the pace with BBADOT and also get some more script work done. If I could exist outside of the world for a while, without interruption or interaction, I feel I’d get so much more done. Alas, here I am with everyone else, and I’ll just have to get over it. Be grand, as they say.